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"You wrote this?" my grandpa asked.
I nodded.
"It's good," he said. My heart swelled. It was just a short essay published in a magazine that nobody reads anyway, but it was the first time I had seen my writing in print. And my grandpa liked it.
Growing up, visiting Grandpa was like visiting an exotic superhero. He rode a motorcycle and drank beer, both of which were taboo in the ultra-conservative religious home I grew up in. That's probably why I liked him so much.
Grandpa was a big fan of my writing. He read everything I wrote and often commented, "You have a wonderful way with words. It doesn’t matter what you write, just keep writing!"
As the years went by and Grandpa got older, he traded in his motorcycle for a sedan, then when his eyes went bad, a bus pass. I didn't get to see him as often as I wanted to, but we kept in touch by email and pictures of the grandkids sent through the mail. I trudged along with my writing, not an easy task with young children. I wrote during the fringe hours, early in the morning and late at night, while the dirty dishes languished in the sink and the laundry took on a life of it's own. There was just never enough time to get it all done.
Last summer I sat with Grandpa on a bench in the shade. He didn't have much energy for conversation, but it was enough to just be with him. After awhile, he said, "Tell me about your writing." So I did.
I talked about what I was working on, published and unpublished. I told him what I'd like to write someday, but am afraid to. The stories I can't say out loud yet. He listened and nodded. He smiled. "Just keep writing," he encouraged. "You have a gift with words."
He never asked the practical questions, like "Are you making any money yet?" Grandpa was way past practical. After raising six kids, too much of his life had been spent being practical. The end of his life was devoted to relationships and philosophy and just doing whatever the hell he wanted to do.
Grandpa had been in and out of the hospital, and when we said goodbye, I think we both knew: this is really goodbye. He held me for a long time and in a rare show of emotion, his eyes filled with tears. "I love you," he said, holding me tighter.
"I love you too," I said.
Then he said it again. "I love you."
Now we were both crying.
"Keep on writing," he whispered.
"I will, Grandpa."
He died the following spring.
Now that he's gone, his words hold even more meaning. I'm still trudging along with my writing. Some weeks I write every day, other weeks, I can barely manage to finish my grocery list. But I'm still writing. I will always write.
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(C) 2009 by Robyn Whitlock, Used by Permission
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About the Author. . .
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Robyn Whitlock spends her days working as a technical editor and herding cats, er, parenting three young boys. A frequent contributor to the MOPS website and regular blogger, she enjoys telling stories about her experiences as a mom. She's currently working on a young adult novel and trying to catch up on the laundry. You can find her online at: http://llamamomma.blogspot.com.
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